I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
