eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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