After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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