Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
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