whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
