4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
it's like heaven, but drunker
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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