her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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