I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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