hell yes lets make some ravioli
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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