What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
