I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
