Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
