She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
