I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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