You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
people are starting to question the shark bite story
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Randomize
