I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Randomize
