Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
