Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
