New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Alive.
So much puke
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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