Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
