So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
When are your genitals available?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
