She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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