after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
