Tell her she can't have a vagina
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
