Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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