How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
