you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Randomize
