Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
