Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Randomize
