My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Randomize
