"it" just moved
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
