One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize