come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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