I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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