and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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