I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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