Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I could make wine with my vomit
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Randomize
