anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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