we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
so much tequila, so little girl.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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