Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
