yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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