friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
