P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
