R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
well most of my day revolves around power hour
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
