His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
This house was built for laser tag.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Randomize
