i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
