No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
