Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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