but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
