C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
