I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
