i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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