you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
