i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
