Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize