i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
