i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
