I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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