Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
