Redeem this text for a blowjob
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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